'Write More Good' authors in Charlotte Friday

Sure, some of us still cling to stuffy style and grammar rules. We consult dictionaries to check our spelling. We avoid cliches and omit needless words.

But really, isn't that so Old Media?

Now, "Write More Good," a phony writing guide that's been called "perhaps the least useful writing aid ever compiled," injects some humor into the dreary world of writing rules.

The book (Three Rivers Press, $13) is the work of a group of writers who call themselves The Bureau Chiefs. Some will be signing books at 7 p.m. Friday, June 3, at Park Road Books, 4139 Park Road.
The idea for this new guide was born from @FakeAPStylebook, a Twitter feed that has amassed more than 200,000 followers by offering such advice as: "There are two acceptable euphemisms for the uterus: 'Ark of the Covenant' or 'Female Hysteria.'
Here are a few gems from the book:

* Proper usage: “World War” should be used only for conflicts involving countries on at least three continents. For large-scale battles against clones, killer tomatoes, or a fifty-foot woman, use “attack” instead.

* Entertainment Journalism: When writing about a celebrity for an online audience, save your readers time by linking directly to nude photos of him or her.

* Science Reporting: When writing about those robots that seek out and consume houseflies for energy, the parenthetical aside “(OH GOD, WE’RE DOOMED!)” is implied and is therefore not necessary to include in your story.